This is a very accurate visual of how I feel. Exhausted. This post is a very general wrap up of the past week.

1. Maya is a fantastic dog – but man she has boundless energy and is exhausting.

2. Cesar Millan makes everything look so easy. Wish I was that athletic.

3. I’m becoming overall addicted to walking, jogging, and running. It hurts but it’s a good hurt. I’m still sleepy when I get up at 4:30 am to do it, but that’s okay – it gets my day off right and I can spend time with the Lord during these runs.

4. As I become more addicted to running and jogging – I am becoming more curious and eager to try something else very physical that I can do with Maya. She’s shown shyness and perhaps even fear of the water when we took her swimming, but she’s an excellent swimmer. I’m hoping to get her in the pool more often to overcome her fear so that we can swim laps together soon. I want to try roller blading and biking now. The heat of course, is overall discouraging. Perhaps in the fall or winter.

5. Stetching and yoga CAN make a difference.

6. The missionaries dropped off a DVD for me to watch – it’s a special wittness one of Jesus I believe (or perhaps the Restoration). I’m pretty excited to watch it.

7. I finished Alias season five a couple of nights ago, I am beyond depressed about this. Bonus features? Anything? How will I ever live?

8. A poster on Rav mentioned that she doesn’t have TV – I imagine a lot of freedom in not owning a TV even with DVR.

9. I have had some pretty amazing personal revelations (not claiming God given) this past week on my history as a Mormon. For example, during my ex-Mormon transition I realized that I was always annoyed with the MC (Mainstream Christian) Jesus. After a lot of discussion and thought, I realize that my personal feelings or experiences with Mainstream Christians individually were bleeding over into the theology. The Jesus of the MCs no longer represented an atoning sacrifice, but rather a rude, hurtful, aggressive Bible thumping street preacher. I failed, at the time, to see how wrong this generalization was because I was too emotionally involved at the time.

10. During a run this week, I had a quite discomforting time while meditating on the LDS church. I hope that it’s a fleshly thing and not a spiritual thing.

11. Who knew there were right and wrong socks to wear while running?! Thank you to Brother Matthews for giving the much needed information.

12. Over on Ravelry,  actually have a Mormonism 101 thread that I’ve been enjoying being a part of. It really makes me stop and wonder though, of those who are critical of the LDS church and if they are able to turn their critical microscope over onto their own beliefs with the same intensity and scrutiny that they apply to the LDS church. When LDS posters do this in say apologetics, then suddenly LDS are attacking the Bible, Christianity, etc. It strikes me as both disturbing and humorous how uncomfortable people get when one applies that same line of thinking to MCs, history, etc. While I’m not saying that I disbelieve the Trinity or the Godhead (but rather prefer to sit on a neutral fence right now and investigate this more fully), the Trinity certainly has enough (and always really has) holes in it for me to lean away from it.

13. Essential beliefs – are these more assumptions of the Bible or actual Biblical teachings? If they are Biblically sound – that there ARE essential beliefs, then what essentials are there that are spelled out in the Bible?

14. I find myself distancing from Protestantism and drawing closer again to Mormonism. Of course, most of this is out of comfort, but also with the disillusionment I feel within Mainstream Christianity. There is an overall pride to be found in quite a few circles – pride in being RIGHT. In having THE Truth, the ONLY Truth, etc etc. And it’s not something I found myself really appreciating. I’m not saying this is a GP thing but rather just observing and seeing in various Christians of various backgrounds, etc. A lot of the people at GP are the kindest, more humble Christians. Alongside with my small group family (not a GP small group), these people have totally turned my viewpoint around on what a Christian within the Protestant umbrella can actually look like – Christ.

15. My friend Barbie, has been going through what a lot of LDS converts go through – rejection. From her former Protestant friends who cannot support her while she is in the “darkness” for example. People who wouldn’t even go to her wedding or reception because it was in celebration of her Catholic wedding. She’s currently reading the book, “Why would anyone want to be a Mormon?” which she is totally loving (no worries folks, the day she’s LDS – huh I guess that would be the end of time as we know it ). I love having these discussions with her, because I feel like she finally has a connection with me and understanding now, of some things I experienced as a Mormon. Rejection from people based solely on the fact that I was LDS. What Barbie and I are both finding peace in is the humility and desire to serve others that is found when we take out the rejection and the pride and seek to REALLY love others as Jesus did.

16. Worked today at the store. Craziness craziness. People are selfish. They are rude. They are inconsiderate. Today one woman refused to move her car from a pump because she didn’t like how one man waited in line. Are you SERIOUS? We had to call a towing company and she cussed me out. We – employees – know for a FACT that there are customers out there with guns. And yet, people STILL have road rage out in a parking lot. I mean c’mon people – if you go to the cheapest gas station in the entire valley by almost .20/gallon, then expect a wait. Come early so you don’t run late to an appointment or something, bring your knitting or a good book or a crossword puzzle. Bring a snack to munch on while you wait, but for goodness sakes, just have patience. Laying on your horns, screaming at people, and so on is not productive.

17. If you can count your money, you can tell me how much you have. Don’t throw it down on the counter, “Whatever this is on the pump behind number three.”

18. Please answer yes or no questions – we don’t ask because we’re stupid, we ask because we know that it’s required information for YOUR safety on our part. “Are you at the pump?” Because if you’re not, you’re gas WILL be stolen.

19. The pumps are clearly labeled (except the first one) with numbers not once but twice that are as big as your head – please read them. It’s really not that hard.

20. No you cannot pay on the pump when you are five cars behind. If you’re not at the pump, you cannot put money on it.

21. Exhaustion is not the end of being tired.

22. At the end of the day – there is religion which is really no one’s fault except their own, and relationship. Relationship is not defined in the building we attend or the clothes we were or even the specifics of theology that we claim, but our hearts for God. I think religion holds us down and keeps us from really having the ability to really love people because we have this invisible electric fence so to speak. But relationship moves us to be Jesus in our daily lives – to serve in the Church and in our communities, to pray sincerely, to repent and forgive, and to remember the atonement. THAT’s what I am seeking and I am confident that my Heavenly Father will answer.