The Journey we call Faith











{July 6, 2008}   Breed Prejudice – GRRR!

Hello family! :) I recently found out that my family is reading my blogs. Quite the shocker for me since I don’t always control my tongue or my thoughts very well here in Blogging Land. Papau made the point of telling me how negative I am in my blogs – which has stayed with me and made me consider almost every word, thought, and motive today. It doesn’t mean I didn’t vent about select co-workers who bully others, or that I shied away from thinking poorly about the customers who didn’t want to wait in line and cut in front of others in the gas lines or that I didn’t snicker about the people who are never satisfied. IE – Papau now is giving away FREE bottled water for his customers waiting in line, 99% of them say, “Thank you! This is just what I needed!” But today someone complained that it wasn’t soda. Can’t please them all. :P

But it did make me ponder how negative I am, and ungrateful. It certainly made me think back to all the things I should be grateful for – a good family, patient parents, a surprisingly wonderful job (hey there is always free entertainment!), a fantastic pet, and of course the Gospel.

Something to ponder and remember every time I want to open my mouth . . . . .

Maya’s doing fantastic with the treadmill. We just turn it on now and she gets right on. Right now, I have to still very closely supervise (ie sit in a chair right next to the treadmill while she’s on it) but am hoping with a few more sessions I can fold laundry, sweep the floors in that room, etc while she is on the treadmill.

I was sick for almost two whole days (yes again, perhaps this is my season to be sickly) and so we got back into routine this evening – FINALLY! I picked up a bike from my local Deseret Industries and have been biking with Maya about 4 miles a night. We rode our bikes and scooters as a family tonight to Maya’s doggie play group and it was so much fun. Maya took a rest while we waited for her BFF Nacho to arrive. Here she is looking all fantastic.

The kids had a blast too – even though Paul fell into some rocks when he turned his bike too sharply. But he’s such a champ and after I washed out his scratches with some water, he was totally fine and ready to go back to playing hard.

Meanwhile, Anya continues to think that Maya is her personal pony or something. Maya is such a fantastic dog that she doesn’t mind when the kids tug her tail, look at her ears, use her as a pillow, or even sit on her. What a good girl. We discovered that Maya is afraid of fireworks (sadly pretty common for pets) so we’ve been using Cesar Millan techniques to try to confront her fear. We’ve not been babying or consoling her so as not to indulge her fears, we did use the forward motion and corrections/distractions. We’ll see how well these worked next time the fireworks fire up.

And here is Maya and her man, Nacho. He’s such a great Boston Terrier – so well behaved, obediant, and such a great playmate for Maya. Maya’s got some obediance training coming up – my birthday present, and I cannot wait to see how she reacts. Steve says that if she begins behaving in the areas we are currently struggling with (stealing food for example) then we can consider the second dog. Yippie! I’m so excited. Cannot wait! We’ve met some really great dogs.

I will say this – and yes it is negative. I’m becoming really frustrated with how people imagine pit bulls. Just tonight while Maya was sitting nicely at the curb waiting for us to cross, a couple jay walked to get away from her. And I honestly don’t see the pit in her except in her muscles during swimming and from her chin. Plus, there are tons of pitties in rescue and animal shelters. It’s SO sad. There are three fantastic pitties that we are considering bringing into our family. Because pits are great dogs. I love how Cesar explains breeds – it’s just the designer outfit they have on. Pits are no more prone to agreesion for example than another dog. But because they are a power breed, they can cause more damage in less amounts of time. They’ve got a bad rap because of irresponsible, bad owners who were clueless when they got the dog. If you are considering adopting a dog and are of the active type – please consider rescueing a pitbull. They are incrediably loyal, wonderful dogs. Of course, there are exceptions – those who have mental issues that come down to neurological issues which can occur with ANY breed of dog – or even any mutt/Heinz 57 dog.

Okay, enough rambling out of me. I’ll try to stay off my pitbull soapbox. :) Although, to warn you – I’m sure I’ll write another blog like this in the future as I become increasingly frustrated with people’s stereotypes of those of so awful dangerous pit bulls. :(

maggielselah @ 4:03 am [filed under The Dog Whisperer tagged , , , , , Leave a Comment »


{July 1, 2008}   People Training with Maya

I had forgotten how much I really love being a dog owner – dogs in general. I’m now behaving like my toddlers to my husband, “Can we adopt another pittie, please oh please oh please oh please…” I am in love with Pitt Bulls now. Totally and completely. There are times when I wish we had at least a second smaller dog, perhaps a lap dog, but I love Maya so much, that I just want another Pittie for her to play with and for us to love on.

Admittedly, Cesar’s techniques are not for the un-committed and they are VERY hard work, but so amazingly fulfilling. I cannot tell you how much I just want to break down and cry (out of happiness) when I see how fulfilled Maya is (and submissive) after we follow through with a Cesar technique. It’s amazing! We recently started her on this treadmill we picked up from Craigslist. I admit, I secretly was skeptical that we would be able to get her on this treadmill and was regretting the purchase from almost the time we picked it up. BUT I pushed those thoughts aside, and just as I’ve been diligently walking her every day and night, I began training her on the treadmill. Below are her second and third sessions on the treadmill. The third session (second video) is totally without a leash!

Photo Sharing – Video Sharing – Photo Printing – Photo Books

Photo Sharing – Video Sharing – Photo Printing – Photo Books

I am so proud of my girl. We are now walking three miles a night (yeppie!) or jogging three blocks and spending 2 hours at the dog park with a jog afterwards. On a personal note, I finally have found a way to ordered my much needed Topamax and hopefully combined with my now very active lifestyle, I will achieve pre-Paul pregnancy weight. Here’s a hoping. :)

During our three mile walks, we have had some really great training opportunities. For starters, there are a lot of breaks in the sidewalks for roads into communities, washes, and parking lots. Even though there are a TON I’ve been able to take this chance to train Maya to sit at each of these breaks. More and more she is sitting before I even ask her. She is becoming very submissive to me now – today I was able to stand outside with the door all the way open without her running out but rather sitting calmly at the door inside waiting to be invited out.

At the dog park, I am learning that Maya is in reality a very SMALL dog. Whew! There are two Great Danes there (I had NO idea they were THAT big), a Great Dane/Mastiff mix, some HUGE German Shepherds, and even Siberian Huskies (which have always been a book favorite of mine BUT not a real life favorite as I am terrified of them). There are a few American Pitt Bulls (and mixes) as well as Boxers and I just love them all. Maya gets a chance to run run run – which she loves and to mingle with other dogs.

I do feel a little bad for my husband though – while I’ve focused in so intensely on Maya’s training during this highly important time (ie her first months with us), he’s handled the kids while I bike, run, jog, and swim with Maya. Maya seems to have boundless energy – however as we’ve been consistent with her exercise, we’ve been seeing her (finally) show that we are tiring her. I think it was all the pent up energy from the various shelters (absolutely not their fault – thank God these shelters even exist) but that we are finally breaking through it all.

As I’ve scanned through Craigslist to find a suitable pittie companion for Maya, I’ve been reading heartbreaking stories of abuse, neglect, or families being moved or relocated and not being able to bring their pets. It’s so sad. I wish I could adopt them all. Poor things.

I finished Cesar’s Way which I think is just the best book ever (along with Be the Pack Leader). The downside is that I am trying really hard to 1) not give people un-wanted advice about dogs now and 2) not be judgmental when people make statements like, “My dog doesn’t need exercise,” or “We just let him in the backyard and he’s fine.” I literally cringe when I hear statements like these now. I recently watched a dog training DVD (not be Cesar Millan) that was based on reward only incentives. I gagged. Really? Not to humanize my dog, but balancing a dog is very similar to discipling children. I’m not opposed to positive reinforcement (I believe it’s very powerful) but I am entirely opposed to ONLY positive reinforcement. Make sense? So this DVD was very hard to watch. For example, it talked about dog proofing the house – which to an extent I agree with. Just as I would cover or protect the electric outlets from Paul and Anya, I would also teach them to NOT touch those outlets. I also believe in house proofing one’s own children as well as child proofing to keep them safe. Balance.

On the a short religious note, I am enjoying the break from thinking about all these things and just enjoying Grace Point. Even if I don’t always theologically agree with Protestant stance on things, I really do enjoy it there. Of course, right now I don’t always theologically agree with the LDS church on things either – perhaps I’d be better as an agnostic. Not a bad idea. ;) All joking aside, Steve and I have been considering attending two LDS services a month and then two GP services a month. What an amazing husband I have – who certainly does not want to attend LDS services whatsoever, but is willing to do so to worship side by side with me. How amazing.

I’ve just requested Bart Ehrman’s books on historical Christianity. Quite the interesting fellow – admittedly one of the best New Testament scholars out there, but now an agnostic. I actually have three of his books in print – Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why, Lost Christianities: The Battle for Scripture and Faiths we never knew, and Lost Scriptures: Books that did not make it into the New Testament. But I’d also love to read some balanced reading on dog behavior and physiology and people training. ;) I’m also open for e-books on biking, skating, or running. So please leave your suggestions in the comments! Finally, I was recommended the book, “Eternal God: A Study of God without Time” by Paul Helm, anyone know if this comes on e-book? I just am not sitting down enough to read but am certainly on the move enough to listen to whole books.

Thanks everyone! :)

maggielselah @ 3:12 pm [filed under The Dog Whisperer tagged , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment »


{June 24, 2008}   The Brain Drain

Our family has become water babies lately. We’ve been in the pool for four days straight! We went in on Friday afternoon, not really expecting Maya to join us but hoping she would learn to love the water. Now four days later, she is rarely getting out of the water and jumping in to go grab her toys. She’s become a swimming fanatic! Which is great because she burns so much energy that way. Then we meet her friends at the park and then jog home and she’s POOPED! Which is great. I’ve finished Be the Pack Leader and am now listening to Cesar’s Way – he exercises his pack for about 5-6 hours a day! Whew! So I’ve been on Craigslist looking for a treadmill and bike – I don’t dare try roller blades! I found a Raleigh Mountain Bike that is reasonably priced and on my way to work. Hopefully I’ll be picking it up this week. One person we go to church with bikes 30 miles a day! Whew! I’d love to work up to just 5-10 miles a day. I’m completely bike ignorant so it looks like a great bike. So long as it works I am very happy. :)

With all the exercise Maya has been very trainable as well as very energetic at the same time. I don’t know what it is about water but it always brings out this super hyper side of Maya and always did the same for our last dogs – Scout and Conker. What gives?

Maya has been coming along so well lately that I have been able to let her off leash outside of her doggie play groups. Meaning, yesterday when the kids and I walked to the park, I was able to just let her go and when we went for our nightly jog last night I was able to let her go off leash as well. It’s awesome.

The kids were eating lunch yesterday with some meat and cheese and after “claiming my space” as pack leader, amazingly she just laid down.

I was so proud of her! Last night, we even were able to let her sleep with her kennel open. Yay! :) She’s coming along so nicely.

The Illusion collar/leash came yesterday so I was excited to try that bad boy out. It works so well (although is a bit frustrating to put on – but I’m sure I’ll get used to it). We ran across a cat last night and I did some challenge training with her. She sat while I called the cat to me, and petted it. At one point I did have to lay her down, but overall she did very well for her first time.

All this dog training is taking away time and focus from knitting (*cries*) and this whole religion headache. Steve’ oldest brother, Rob, always asks, “Why?” And right now I feel like I am doing the same thing.

During worship on Sunday they sang, “Fields of Grace” by Big Daddy Weave. When we first left the LDS church, this song became a quick favorite because the lyrics really connected with what I was feeling and going through.

There’s a place where religion finally dies

There’s a place where I loose my selfish pride

This two week series is something I’m looking forward to because it really gets into the theology of the Gospel – sin, justification, grace, works. It promises to be very thought provoking. I’m meeting with the missionaries again tomorrow night – so I best be writing up my question list – I’d forgotten a lot of my old questions from before. I sheepishly admit that I am REALLY stuck on this Godhead doctrine. When I spoke to my parents about it my Mamau was like, “I think you tend to get stuck on unimportant things.”

:(

I reminded her that Joseph Smith taught that it was the FIRST principal of the Gospel to understand the nature of God. Which is what I’m trying to do. Which then leads to more questions – what is “worship” inside the LDS church? Referring back to the Fall – why is Eve declared to have “transgressed” but her transgression is looked upon favorably? In the Hebrew it appears that a transgression is much worse than a sin (to err, or miss the mark). I am going to tackle some of the Book of Abraham today, more specifically to read about Abraham and God and of course the issues regarding this particular book. I’ve pulled out some reading from my LDS box and will also be pulling out a Protestant book on theology as well.

I have also decided to ask my Pastor questions as well. He raises good points and issues, but I find myself echoing Steve’s brother – why?

I feel like such a pest.

Thankfully, Steve is looking into renting a cabin in August in Cedar City for a long weekend. I cannot wait. My birthday and our anniversary is just around the corner – yeppie! That’s it for now. Gotta go tackle the pile of laundry that’s been building up.

maggielselah @ 12:30 pm [filed under Religion, The Dog Whisperer tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment »


{June 15, 2008}   Wrap Up

This is a very accurate visual of how I feel. Exhausted. This post is a very general wrap up of the past week.

1. Maya is a fantastic dog – but man she has boundless energy and is exhausting.

2. Cesar Millan makes everything look so easy. Wish I was that athletic.

3. I’m becoming overall addicted to walking, jogging, and running. It hurts but it’s a good hurt. I’m still sleepy when I get up at 4:30 am to do it, but that’s okay – it gets my day off right and I can spend time with the Lord during these runs.

4. As I become more addicted to running and jogging – I am becoming more curious and eager to try something else very physical that I can do with Maya. She’s shown shyness and perhaps even fear of the water when we took her swimming, but she’s an excellent swimmer. I’m hoping to get her in the pool more often to overcome her fear so that we can swim laps together soon. I want to try roller blading and biking now. The heat of course, is overall discouraging. Perhaps in the fall or winter.

5. Stetching and yoga CAN make a difference. :)

6. The missionaries dropped off a DVD for me to watch – it’s a special wittness one of Jesus I believe (or perhaps the Restoration). I’m pretty excited to watch it.

7. I finished Alias season five a couple of nights ago, I am beyond depressed about this. Bonus features? Anything? How will I ever live?

8. A poster on Rav mentioned that she doesn’t have TV – I imagine a lot of freedom in not owning a TV even with DVR.

9. I have had some pretty amazing personal revelations (not claiming God given) this past week on my history as a Mormon. For example, during my ex-Mormon transition I realized that I was always annoyed with the MC (Mainstream Christian) Jesus. After a lot of discussion and thought, I realize that my personal feelings or experiences with Mainstream Christians individually were bleeding over into the theology. The Jesus of the MCs no longer represented an atoning sacrifice, but rather a rude, hurtful, aggressive Bible thumping street preacher. I failed, at the time, to see how wrong this generalization was because I was too emotionally involved at the time.

10. During a run this week, I had a quite discomforting time while meditating on the LDS church. I hope that it’s a fleshly thing and not a spiritual thing.

11. Who knew there were right and wrong socks to wear while running?! Thank you to Brother Matthews for giving the much needed information.

12. Over on Ravelry,  actually have a Mormonism 101 thread that I’ve been enjoying being a part of. It really makes me stop and wonder though, of those who are critical of the LDS church and if they are able to turn their critical microscope over onto their own beliefs with the same intensity and scrutiny that they apply to the LDS church. When LDS posters do this in say apologetics, then suddenly LDS are attacking the Bible, Christianity, etc. It strikes me as both disturbing and humorous how uncomfortable people get when one applies that same line of thinking to MCs, history, etc. While I’m not saying that I disbelieve the Trinity or the Godhead (but rather prefer to sit on a neutral fence right now and investigate this more fully), the Trinity certainly has enough (and always really has) holes in it for me to lean away from it.

13. Essential beliefs – are these more assumptions of the Bible or actual Biblical teachings? If they are Biblically sound – that there ARE essential beliefs, then what essentials are there that are spelled out in the Bible?

14. I find myself distancing from Protestantism and drawing closer again to Mormonism. Of course, most of this is out of comfort, but also with the disillusionment I feel within Mainstream Christianity. There is an overall pride to be found in quite a few circles – pride in being RIGHT. In having THE Truth, the ONLY Truth, etc etc. And it’s not something I found myself really appreciating. I’m not saying this is a GP thing but rather just observing and seeing in various Christians of various backgrounds, etc. A lot of the people at GP are the kindest, more humble Christians. Alongside with my small group family (not a GP small group), these people have totally turned my viewpoint around on what a Christian within the Protestant umbrella can actually look like – Christ.

15. My friend Barbie, has been going through what a lot of LDS converts go through – rejection. From her former Protestant friends who cannot support her while she is in the “darkness” for example. People who wouldn’t even go to her wedding or reception because it was in celebration of her Catholic wedding. She’s currently reading the book, “Why would anyone want to be a Mormon?” which she is totally loving (no worries folks, the day she’s LDS – huh I guess that would be the end of time as we know it ;) ). I love having these discussions with her, because I feel like she finally has a connection with me and understanding now, of some things I experienced as a Mormon. Rejection from people based solely on the fact that I was LDS. What Barbie and I are both finding peace in is the humility and desire to serve others that is found when we take out the rejection and the pride and seek to REALLY love others as Jesus did.

16. Worked today at the store. Craziness craziness. People are selfish. They are rude. They are inconsiderate. Today one woman refused to move her car from a pump because she didn’t like how one man waited in line. Are you SERIOUS? We had to call a towing company and she cussed me out. We – employees – know for a FACT that there are customers out there with guns. And yet, people STILL have road rage out in a parking lot. I mean c’mon people – if you go to the cheapest gas station in the entire valley by almost .20/gallon, then expect a wait. Come early so you don’t run late to an appointment or something, bring your knitting or a good book or a crossword puzzle. Bring a snack to munch on while you wait, but for goodness sakes, just have patience. Laying on your horns, screaming at people, and so on is not productive.

17. If you can count your money, you can tell me how much you have. Don’t throw it down on the counter, “Whatever this is on the pump behind number three.”

18. Please answer yes or no questions – we don’t ask because we’re stupid, we ask because we know that it’s required information for YOUR safety on our part. “Are you at the pump?” Because if you’re not, you’re gas WILL be stolen.

19. The pumps are clearly labeled (except the first one) with numbers not once but twice that are as big as your head – please read them. It’s really not that hard.

20. No you cannot pay on the pump when you are five cars behind. If you’re not at the pump, you cannot put money on it.

21. Exhaustion is not the end of being tired.

22. At the end of the day – there is religion which is really no one’s fault except their own, and relationship. Relationship is not defined in the building we attend or the clothes we were or even the specifics of theology that we claim, but our hearts for God. I think religion holds us down and keeps us from really having the ability to really love people because we have this invisible electric fence so to speak. But relationship moves us to be Jesus in our daily lives – to serve in the Church and in our communities, to pray sincerely, to repent and forgive, and to remember the atonement. THAT’s what I am seeking and I am confident that my Heavenly Father will answer.

maggielselah @ 2:57 am [filed under Grace Point, Ravelry, Religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, The Dog Whisperer tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment »


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